I'm scared. There I said it. I want to be honest here. I want this to be a place where you can come and find transparency. Adoption is hard. I am terrified about what is about to happen. In just three days, we fly across the ocean to meet our boys. We're excited and I'm scared and nervous. I've been on the verge of tears for most of the day, as I pack and prepare to go and meet our boys.
In less than a week, I am going to be holding one of my boys. I am already in love with these boys, but for right this minute they are still just pictures and videos. I'm about to put my hands on them, to feel the weight of them in my arms, to hear their laughter and love on them. Then, I'm going to have to leave them behind and I'm terrified, because I can, already, barely catch my breath when I think about it. Marty and I are about to leave our hearts on the other side of the ocean and that is an exercise in trust, my friends.
Can we put our feet, where our faith is? Do we trust God in every situation? Even the unbearable task of leaving our sons behind, while we finish the race toward bringing them home. I don't know if you can understand, unless you've been here. I just don't know. Pray for us, pray for our children, the ones who understand and the ones who will think that, once again, they are being left behind and forgotten. It's a difficult path that God has asked us to walk, but we'll walk it knowing we'll find more of Him along the way.
Pray, Adopt, Advocate, Support...
Hidden in Christ,
Mandy
Praying that God will fill you with HIS peace as you cross that ocean!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Julia.
ReplyDeleteOh Mandy, I was already on the verge of tears and then I read this. We are pray for you, around you, over you, and for your entire family. I love you so much sweet friend, and know you can do what ever it is God has called you to do. I'm so excited to learn more about Samuel and Joseph. Who they are. How they are going to fit in your family. Why God picked THEM for YOU. It's such a beautiful gift.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jessica. I know you're praying and love you all the more for it!
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you! Please tell me if there are specific ways to pray!
ReplyDeleteAndrea
I will, Andrea. Thank you for the prayers. It's a blessing to know we're covered.
ReplyDeleteLet this be your prayer:"Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight, shew me now thy way, that I may know thee, that I may find grace in thy sight: and consider that this nation(these children)are your people." Ex. 33:12-14. They NEED to know HIM that's your purpose and He will use you and your family to guide them to Himself. So many prayers going up for you. Blessings to you all. Love- Aunt Shelby
ReplyDeleteThanks, Aunt Shelby. Love that word! Love you, too!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me. I am a mother of two boys and my husband and I are trying to make the decision when and how we're going to adopt and we want to adopt from Reece's Rainbow. I love your transparency in this post. It makes me feel in an odd way, so normal for my current feelings of passion for adoption and fear of the unknown. I will pray for you and follow your journey. Blessings,
ReplyDeleteKimberly
Keep watching, Kimberly. It's going to be worth the uncertainty in just a few short days, when I'm holding one of my sons in my arms. You'll love this Reece's Rainbow family! They're the best.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Mandy