It's your birthday, sweet Samuel. 4 years ago, today, you still belonged to another Mommy. My heart had not even imagined you, yet. I'm so thankful, today, for the sacrifice she made. She carried you and gave you life and my heart is especially sad for her on this day. A day that is worthy of celebration, because our beautiful son made entry into this great big world. It's difficult to feel JOY, though. You've spent 4 long years in an orphanage alone. Does she feel regret and sadness at having to leave you? She must. I have not held you, yet, and it is painful for me not to be able to hold you, today. I pray for her heart and her empty arms. I pray for my heart and my empty arms. Mostly, I pray for you.
It's your big day! Will anyone even tell you? Will they mark this day as special or will it pass quietly by unnoticed by your caregivers?
Enough sadness for now. Today is a day of happiness! It is the last birthday you will spend apart from family and friends who love you dearly. You have survived when others have not. God found us for you and you for us and in one short month, you will know the love of a Mommy and Daddy for the first time in your life. We will hold you and love you and sing "Happy Birthday to you" our baby boy.
I pray that, today, we would be met with an extra measure of grace and compassion. You, me, your Dad and your other Mommy. We will all surely need it. I'm especially thankful that His strength is made perfect in our weakness, today.
I'm hopeful as I look forward to this next year and all the firsts we will have together. Not the least of which will be your next Birthday! Get ready, little man, we're going to throw a 5th Birthday Party like you wouldn't believe. We'll have 5 years of celebrating to catch up on.
Happy Birthday, Samuel. We love you!
Mommy, Daddy, Eli, Julie and Joseph.