This week has been emotional for me. When we committed to bringing "K" home, there was a whirlwind of initial paperwork and fundraising that HAD to happen. Now, the dust has settled and the hard work of getting her home has begun. I've always attempted to be honest here, so here goes. My "flesh" does not want to be doing this. I want the end reward of having "K" home, but not the effort and sacrifice that comes along the way. How pathetic is that?
It is. I know, it is. I keep reminding myself and Marty as I whine about paperwork, phone calls and fundraising, that this is NOT about me. It is a privilege to be the hands and feet of Jesus, to serve as parents to our precious children, to answer the call to care for the orphans. I'm praying for my JOY to be restored and my focus to be renewed. When I'm having days or weeks like this, there's only one place I know to go for help.
I open up my Word to Hebrews 12:1-3 and I find these words...
Do you see what this means-all the pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running-and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sin. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed-that exhilarating finish in and with God-he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls.
So many have walked and are walking harder paths, than I am. God called our family to a simple task of loving children. Loving children is one of the easiest things God could ask of us. If the love of Christ is on the inside of us, then we love. Then, I turn my thoughts to the cross of Christ, to the ugly, dirty, blood-filled place where Jesus died for me and I am saddened by my lack of perseverance. I am unworthy, but I serve a God who has made me worthy. If I want to share in His resurrection power, I must, first and foremost, be willing to share in his suffering. Let's be real, the paperwork, fundraising, phone calls are really not a hardship, nothing compared to the cross. So, I press on with my eyes focused on Jesus, the perfecter of my faith.
If you hear me whine, please, correct me. My girl is worth the effort and I want to be joyful in my efforts to do this Kingdom work. I need only to reset my focus on the life and cross of Jesus and then, I can press onward toward my goal.
It is a privilege to serve!
Pray, Adopt, Advocate, Support...Do Something!
Hidden in Christ,